that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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