just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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