how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
