I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
