Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
