Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
