May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
