I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
