sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
