I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
