Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
