Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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