your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
