omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He did a backflip because drugs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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