she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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