i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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