i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
