i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I only lived at night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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