Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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