just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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