Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
