I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
