Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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