You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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