how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
