So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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