I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
