we have officially lost it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
