He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
