My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cut my penus on the lid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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