Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
