Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
