Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
