So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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