i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
