I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
