Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
