um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
