Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
