sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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