Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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