belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
