Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Drunk is not a location!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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