He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
