So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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