i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
