another moral hangover. fuck.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
