no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
