1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Randomize
