i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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