and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
