All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
