Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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