Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize