all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
