Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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