you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize