Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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