member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
