hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
