She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
