i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
