i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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