What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
