It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
