im drinking this country out of the recession.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
